Writing 101, Day Seventeen: We all have anxieties, worries, and fears. What are you scared of? Address one of your worst fears.
Parts: One| Two|
He finds a piece of parched paper on his desk by the window. He picks it up. It is a letter, he realises. With perplexed curiosity, he reads the letter addressed to him.
June 25, 2014
It has been five days since I found the letter – and I am still haunted by it.
For the larger part of my life, I have been portraying myself to be the way I wanted to be perceived. I am certain that I am not the only man in this universe who has done this – or am I? The point is, this portrayal – this betrayal to myself – has been eating at my soul. This letter has rudely stripped me of my protective walls, and I am afraid I am floundering.
I have to be honest – I was not entirely oblivious to the implications of my doing, prior to this letter. I have at times wondered if I was losing myself in the process. I have acknowledged my unhealthy psyche and self-loathing. But these were just moments of self-doubt that everyone goes through; they weren’t legitimate problems – or so I thought.
Perhaps it was after I finished reading Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love; or perhaps it was just about time my bottled-up feelings became apparent. A feeling; a desire; a yearning for ‘balance’ had since been roused in my soul. I suppose I have subconsciously tried to mend my psyche – albeit gradually.
This letter, however, is counter-productive to my cause. I am afraid; I am terrified. What if he is right? He is coming for me. What if I can’t stop him? What if I will never become whole again? What is to happen if I let my insecurities overrun me? The plausibilities are endless, and the fact that they are real scares me that much more. Just look at what I have written in this paragraph alone – he is winning, isn’t he?
Yesterday, as I was re-reading the letter for the hundredth time, I discovered something peculiar. I recognised the penmanship – it was mine. Oh dear god, am I becoming undone?
With much terror,
The Man in The Mirror