Flash Fiction: Something Borrowed

Amelia Groves challenges us to write a 150-Word Story on ‘Something Borrowed’ that strangely has to reference a purchase. This is my take on the prompt. I initially wrote without attention to the word count, which led me to over 200 words! I painstakingly chopped off words to make it exactly 150 and now, I can’t decide if I like it as much as the unaltered one. Anyhow, tell me what you think of this piece – or what it made you think of.


 

You don’t get to have a conscience. I numbingly wear my pants. I knew the first time was going to be hard, but I didn’t think it’d be this soul-crushing. I guess the Christian guilt never really leaves, does it? 

“You look as though you’re dying to have your body back,” she says.

My pensiveness dissipates. I turn my head towards her. Her rueful expression perplexes me. “Sorry?”

“No, it’s just that you seemed miles away. And I was…” She looks away, “nothing…”

I pull her close. “Don’t be silly! I was just thinking about how I was gonna be late for my next appointment,” I say. “Why would it be about you? You were… are perfect – best I’ve ever had.” I wink.

She blushes. “You should grab a cab.” She hands me the cash. Extra hundred – smooth!

The only use I’ve had for my performing arts degree, apparently.

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13 thoughts on “Flash Fiction: Something Borrowed

  1. G’day K.R
    Anyhow, tell me what you think of this piece – or what it made you think of.

    Interesting dilemma you set before us.

    1. It leaves me wondering if there is a generation gap at work here, each reading, (and have done quite a few) , gives me a different perspective.
    2. Every time I think I have it a following word or suggestion changes the scenario and I get a different impression.

    So with that I will just leave it alone as I don’t really have to know what you were working towards here, all I have to know is that I enjoyed trying to work it out 🙂

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    • Thank you for taking the time to read, Muzzy. I hope I didn’t confuse you too much. I left the story vague so it actually does require some guessing work. I’m tempted to tell you what was actually going on in the story, but I’m reluctant to ruin the mystery. I’d probably reveal it if more readers are left confused.

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      • No need to reveal your intentions — I’ve settled on my own interpretation after two readings of your excellent story, and I don’t think I’d like my interpretation to be shattered 🙂 Or maybe confirmed 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  2. After reading it a couple times, I think I’ve got it nailed. If I’m right, the “first time” and Catholic guilt bits pretty much spell out what’s happened. I’m assuming he’s new to any encounters like that at all, and thus to the job in general?

    But I can’t get over the sentence “I numbingly wear my pants.” In the middle of a vague story, that sentence confuses me to no end. I keep thinking of “wear” as in wearing a hat or shirt or pants, which is completely baffling. If wear = rub, I think I get it. Maybe? Haha.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It seems like you’ve got it nailed too!

      Sorry for the confusion on that part. The sentence was just meant to set the scene – he was wearing his pants because he was done and getting ready to leave for the next appointment. The sentence was originally much longer. It was meant to show how he was feeling forlorn or wistful after the act, impervious to his surroundings.

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      • So his emotions were numbed, yes? That was the intention? I was trying to picture wearing pants in a numbing way and coming up with nothin’, unless he was nervously rubbing his legs till the skin was numb!

        I need to try some flash fiction. It’s amazing how tough it becomes to convey ideas within a limited word count.

        Nice piece!

        Like

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